Everything Is Nice

Beating the nice nice nice thing to death (with fluffy pillows)

We Wanna Be Smith’s Crisps*

with 2 comments

I like to rank things. Not just crap science fiction stories that have inexplicably been nominated for awards but also novelty crisp flavours.

1) Builder’s Breakfast – At first I wondered why anyone would want crisps that tasted of Red Bull and fags but then I saw the illustration on the front and realised it was meant to be sausage, bacon, tomato, fried egg and ketchup.  No sausage but otherwise spot on.

2) Onion Bhaji – I had high hopes for this one and they were rewarded. This is actually a good flavour for a crisp and they pull it off, although there is an odd background whiff of Sour Cream & Chives.

3) Chilli & Chocolate – This is a good combination and actually tastes a bit like it is supposed to. There is a nice bit of heat too.

4) Crispy Duck & Hoisin Sauce – Obviously there are no notes of duck in here but the hoisin is alright (if underpowered).

5) Cajun Squirrel – Tastes of brown. Generic semi-spicy brown.

6) Fish & Chips – A travesty. Much like eating Roast Chicken and Salt & Vinegar crisps simultaneously. If you need to see who this should be done buy a bag of Scampi Fries. Or even some NikNaks.

Apparently Builder’s Breakfast won so congratulations to Emma Rushin, you jammy sod.

* Now a division of Walker’s.

Written by Martin

6 May 2009 at 20:18

Posted in food

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2 Responses

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  1. 1) Builder’s Breakfast

    No, no, no! These taste mostly of stale egg.

    I agree with the rest of your ranking, though.


    7 May 2009 at 07:47

  2. I am usually a foe of any sort of processed egg but I surprised myself by liking it here. Although clearly it mostly tastes like a bag of Smokey Bacon crisps.

    I can’t believe Rushin gets £50k plus 1% of future sales!


    7 May 2009 at 10:42

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