We Wanna Be Smith’s Crisps*
I like to rank things. Not just crap science fiction stories that have inexplicably been nominated for awards but also novelty crisp flavours.
1) Builder’s Breakfast – At first I wondered why anyone would want crisps that tasted of Red Bull and fags but then I saw the illustration on the front and realised it was meant to be sausage, bacon, tomato, fried egg and ketchup. No sausage but otherwise spot on.
2) Onion Bhaji – I had high hopes for this one and they were rewarded. This is actually a good flavour for a crisp and they pull it off, although there is an odd background whiff of Sour Cream & Chives.
3) Chilli & Chocolate – This is a good combination and actually tastes a bit like it is supposed to. There is a nice bit of heat too.
4) Crispy Duck & Hoisin Sauce – Obviously there are no notes of duck in here but the hoisin is alright (if underpowered).
5) Cajun Squirrel – Tastes of brown. Generic semi-spicy brown.
6) Fish & Chips – A travesty. Much like eating Roast Chicken and Salt & Vinegar crisps simultaneously. If you need to see who this should be done buy a bag of Scampi Fries. Or even some NikNaks.
Apparently Builder’s Breakfast won so congratulations to Emma Rushin, you jammy sod.
* Now a division of Walker’s.