Everything Is Nice

Beating the nice nice nice thing to death (with fluffy pillows)

Pirate Jenny

with 3 comments

Half way through High John The Conqueror Jim Younger makes a bold stab at a nomination for the Bad Sex In Fiction Award:

Jenny dragged me to the floor and rammed my head between her legs. I licked but my mouth was dry. No matter, she was wet enough for both of us. I drank greedy for five minutes or so while she wailed and bucked, arching her back and pounding my hurdies with her heels. By now hot-dog Geordie was a straining greyhound in the slips. Jenny flung me up and around until goo-gam Geordie was gooming her tonsils. Jenny was a sucking tornado, turning me inside out. I stuck my finger full-length in her arsehole and nearly had a stroke when she bite me, but it did the trick. We came together, rolling over, and I thumped my head on the wall. Jenny spat out Geordie like he was gristle she’d found in a pie. I peeled my face off her quim and sat up on her belly, facing her, but I couldn’t see as my eyelids were stuck together with vaginal sludge. I blinked into the light – diver surfacing – and watched poor wee Geordie dump a few smears of egg white flecked with blood in Jenny’s belly button.

Alas the judges ignored his contribution.

Written by Martin

1 March 2009 at 11:11

Posted in books

Tagged with , ,

3 Responses

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  1. Ah man, thanks for the mention! Yes, I was disappointed to be ignored for that award. I worked so hard to get it…

    Peace love and understanding

    Jim Y

    Jim Younger

    1 March 2009 at 18:31

  2. The book should have been nominated simply on the strength of :

    “my eyelids were stuck together with vaginal sludge”

    Jonathan M

    2 March 2009 at 10:11

  3. [...] just not sure what these offensive or stupid words are. Vaginal sludge, perhaps? I wish Vandermeer had been a bit more explicit because the context of every sex scene is [...]


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